By Ojasvee Last Updated:
Marriage is a beautiful union of two souls for time beyond measure. Be it an arranged or a love marriage, both individuals have their expectations from each other. While some let time take its course to understand each other, others are proactive to know whether their partner is best suited for them or not.
And, when you decide to share your life with someone, you make sure that they are perfect for you. So, here are 18 questions that you must ask your partner before you tie the knot, just to see where your relationship stands.
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If you are planning to marry that person, asking whether they love you or not is frivolous. Also, do not ask for the reason for their love for you. Always keep in mind what Shakespeare iterated, "if there is a reason for love, it is not love". Wise question would be to ask if they will love you when you are all cranky and irritated, because somehow you do not like yourself at that time. Will they be able to make you love yourself again?
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Every girl dreams of a 'forever' love story. Believe it or not, every man does the same. It takes a lot to achieve that 'forever' state in a real world, where everything can not be resolved with some magic dust. You need to work on the spark regularly. So, ask your partner if they are willing to work for that 'forever'.
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Marriage means sleeping with the same person night after night, and waking up to the same face every morning. This might sound amazing when you are young and about to get married, but might not be the same when you are old. Think it through if you and your partner are ready to make this commitment.
It is easy to walk with someone when the path is decorated with rose petals, but in the long run, there will be thorns too. Your partner should be such that they could easily help to work your way out of the difficult times. It does not matter how the time tests you, they should be able to stand by you always.
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Now that you will be getting married, your goals will automatically influence your partner. They should be able to help you to push your limits to achieve those goals instead of overburdening you with marital responsibilities.
Everyone has dreams and it is great that you can share them with someone who will believe in them too. Will they believe in your dreams when everyone terms them as something beyond reach?
Couples fight, and there is nothing new in that. When you are courting, you can walk off the relationship if it is a major issue. But, when you are married, walking off can not be the first option. Sometimes, you can be the first to seek peace, but it cannot happen always. Your partner should do this too. If they agree that they can let go of their pride to restore harmony, then, say yes.
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This is a question that most couples hesitate to discuss before their marriage. This is a crucial thing. Whether your partner wants to be a parent or not, you should know it. There is no correct answer to this question, but you can decide whether you would like to go with their choice or not.
There is no 'you' and 'I' once you are married. You are going to share every moment from now onwards. If your partner does not want to share every fragment of his or her life, then you have to decide whether it will work for you in the long run or not.
Secrets can never remain secrets forever. You need to confirm with your partner that there are no secrets kept from you, along with a promise that there will be none in the future. Secrets can only make a situation worse, keep that in mind.
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People do not change, circumstances do. Yes, with time, there will be some difference in your personality, but that will be a part of growing up. Your basic personality will be the same. Ask your partner if they can live with you the way you are, till death do you apart.
Marriage may not be a job, but it is surely a piece of work. If both the partners help each other and divide their work equally, this work will be very easy. Both should equally be involved in the public and private sphere. Is your partner comfortable with this kind of partnership where everyone is equal?
This question not only haunts women, but affects the men as well. The thought of becoming an old married couple who watches TV and does not talk can give anyone chills. To avoid this situation, you two will have to invent your own methods for keeping the romance alive. Ready for it?
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This question is a must, ask if your partner is seriously committed towards making a future with you. Right from your first house, vehicle, home decor or anything else, do you feature along with them in every decision of your future together?
We live in an era where professional life, for both men and women, has become very important, hence, it is acceptable that this will keep you busy. You will have to make some kind of schedule so that nothing eats up the time that your spouse deserves. You will do it, but will they?
Yeah, we have all heard that marriage is hard and demands various compromises and sacrifices from both the ends. Fine, you two can do that for the sake of your marriage, but for how long can you do it if you are not happy about it. See if your partner feels content after doing something for you. If not, you decide if it can work in the long run.
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No decision from henceforth will solely be theirs. They do not need to ask for permission, but have to make sure that you are fully aware about it. Any life altering decision means that you both will have to agree to that. Can they happily live with this boundation forever?
Love and intimacy are equally important in every marriage. What if, for some reason, you stop expressing your love physically? Will your partner love you even then?
The answers to these questions will vary and none would be perfect. What you should look for is whether the answers match your expectations. Can you live with this person for eternity? Will they love you even when they hate you?
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