You do want a happily ever after, but sometimes the little things you do in your relationship, some of which you might not even be aware of, can cause irreparable harm to your marriage. Yes, we know that for a healthy and a happy marriage, both partners have to work towards it equally. But, there are certain things that women can keep in check from their end, to ensure that they do not ruin their relationship.
So, here are some of the things that women do, which can destroy a marriage. And, also some 'Healthy Marriage' mantras that can be used to save a relationship.
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Constructive criticism, if it is meant to improve the marriage, is welcome. But, if you are always obsessing over the imperfections of your partner, then you are walking over troubled water. Chronic complaining tells your spouse that you are not happy with him, and he is not good enough. You might not feel this way, but this is the message you convey when you are out nit-picking on his small habits every now and then. What is even worse is when you do so in company of your family and friends.
Healthy Marriage Secret: The sooner you accept that your partner is after all just another human being with his share of the good and the quirky, the better for your marriage. After all, no human being is perfect, including you!
Well ladies, before you get your swords out and come after us, let us tell you we have already done a list on Things Men Do To Destroy a Marriage. So, feel free to send this one to your better half!
Lack of appreciation is often one of the major causes of resentment in a marriage. It is easy to take your spouse for granted. If your partner is doing something special to make you happy, and if you fail to see his efforts and quibble on small things, then it will ruin his mood and ultimately your relationship too!
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Healthy Marriage Secret: Well, men are not too different from you when it comes to compliments and appreciation. Stop for a moment and acknowledge the efforts of your partner and let him know you notice them. A quick note of appreciation, a hug or a kiss can do wonders to your relationship.
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Expecting the partner to do things that are currently beyond his capacity is the bane of every marriage. Putting pressure on him for things that you yourself know might not be reasonable for him to commit to is a smart way to erode your relationship slowly and steadily. Say, if you want to buy a bigger house or start a family, but your husband is not in a financial or mental state to commit to such a change. Well, instead of criticising him, try to understand his point of view.
Healthy Marriage Secret: Yes, be less demanding and reasonable in what you want, because pushing someone to give more than what he can at the moment, will only push him away.
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You are aware of how important it is to connect with your spouse on a daily basis, but it is easy to forget when there are kids, career, and chores to manage. Keep in mind, physical and emotional shut down often leads to a big lack of intimacy. Withholding affection from your partner can cause a major disconnect that will be hard to bridge.
Healthy Marriage Secret: Just as you want your man to take time out and do something special and intimate for you, you should do the same. Consciously take out time to be with your partner, and give it top priority if you love your marriage.
If you are looking for ways to say "I Love You" everyday, then Read: 7 Small yet Romantic Things Every Wife Must Do for Her Husband
After marriage, you have a new family to look after as well. While you need not break all ties with your own family and friends, understand that these new relationships are important as well. If you are always putting your family or friends before him or his family, he might not like it.
Healthy Marriage Secret: It is ok to maintain a healthy contact with your own family and friends even after marriage, and expecting your partner to respect that. But, instead of ‘mine’ and ‘yours’, think of it as ‘ours’!
Girls, here is something more that you can send to your husbands to read and follow: Household Chores that Women Want their Men to Do
So, do you always keep your feelings pent-up and wait for him to figure out what is wrong? Well, that is what is actually wrong! He is not an expert, who will figure things out on his own based on your expressions and mood. By keeping quiet or closing communication you cannot solve any problem or resolve any issue. What's more? Your attitude might throw him further away from the issue and the relationship.
Recommended Read: 8 Ways Smart Couples should Behave During a Fight
Healthy Marriage Secret: If you wish to say something to him or if you are hurt about something, then instead of waiting for him to figure things out on his own, talk to him. Men might not be too emotionally open themselves, but being passive aggressive is not the way to deal with them either.
It is a well-known fact that men truly love their space and freedom, and this is one of the main reasons why most of them turn commitment-phobic. Calling him up every single hour, getting jealous unnecessarily, forcing him to cancel plans with his friends always- are some common things that you might be doing out of love. But, your attempts to keep your man hooked to you might actually make him run away in the opposite direction.
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Healthy Marriage Secret: It is okay to be jealous sometimes, but not all the time. Most men want their women to have a life outside the relationship as well. And, they want their women to respect their personal space and social group.
Recommended Read: 4 Problems that can be Really Good for Your Marriage
If you are guilty of any of these behaviours, you are putting your marriage at great risk. We all know that every relationship has to go through a fair share of ups and downs. But, when you keep certain emotions and behaviour in check, you can find a way to make your relationship last a lifetime easily!
