It is truly said that as a woman, you realise the value and the bond that you share with your mother, only after getting married and leaving your home. As humans, we do not tend to respect, value and appreciate what we already have and take a lot of things for granted. For example, the relationship we share with our parents.
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Especially for a woman, getting married and leaving her family, to go and live with her in-laws, is a very big change, something that every girl secretly dreads. But, why is that so tough, you ask? Well, here are reasons why it is so difficult for girls to be without their mommies after their marriage.
You know that time of the night when you quickly whip up two mugs of coffee or tea, get inside your cosy blanket and discuss about what happened during the day, whom you met, who said what or how you feel about a particular incident that took place. Yes, you miss it a lot after your marriage. Talking with your partner is just not the same as talking to your mommy.
Whether you get up at 7 in the morning or 1 in the afternoon, you will always have a huge plate of delicious breakfast ready for you, the water for your bath heated, your room cleaned and sorted, and everything else that you might need, in place. Not happening anymore after you get married missy!
When you are home, you get to be alone if you feel like it. You are not answerable; you can just cut yourself off from the world and relax. You can enjoy your alone free time and your mom understands without asking you a million questions.
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When your mother cooks food, you can eat two extra chapatis without even realising. You want to come home early to have your meal and however diet conscious you might be, the extra spoons of ghee in the food don’t bother you because the best chef in the world cooked the meal for you with so much love.
You don’t need to be someone you are not in front of your mom. She knows you inside out and will instantly figure out that you are not being yourself. You don’t need to eat, sleep, dress or talk in a certain way that you don’t particularly approve of. With her, you are YOU and that is just who and how you always want to be.
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Your mom can look into your eyes and tell if you are happy or sad. She can see that you are hiding your tears behind that enormous fake smile of yours. Her hug can make you feel better without the exchange of any words. She is your mother, you are a part of her and your happiness is the only thing that is paramount to her.
Before your wedding, whenever anything big happened, whether good or bad, your mom was with you. After marriage, you might have moved away to another country, city or even to another part of the city, but you aren’t in the same house anymore and can’t visit each other too often. Thus, you can’t share it first with her like you used to. That is something you miss the most.
After marriage, you are involved with your new family, new responsibilities and a totally new lifestyle. It was easier to go catch a movie or go out shopping with your mommy earlier, but now due to the time and distance constraints, making instant scenes gets difficult.
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She can scold you in the most frightening way and you wouldn’t mind, but imagine getting the same scolding from someone from your new family! You wouldn’t quite like that, right? Also, sometimes you wish your mom was there to guide you, to stop and scold you right when you are about to do something wrong, to tell you what to and what not to put in the dal, etc. It is difficult to believe, but her scolding is something you miss the most.
However much you say that her constant calls and texts irritate you, asking about your whereabouts every half an hour, this is something you will miss the most after you get married. You will crave for her calls and messages, but they will not be as frequent.
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A mother’s love can never be replaced. Yes, you will have a new mother, your husband’s mom, who might actually love you like her own daughter but no one can take your mumma’s place and do what she does for, with so much affection and selflessness. So love her, value her, appreciate her and show her your gratitude in every possible way.