Indian weddings are no less than the Bollywood blockbusters. Full of style, fun, drama, emotions and everything else you would pay for to watch in a theatre, an Indian wedding is just too good to be missed. And, there are a few characters, who just take all these fun-filled elements of an Indian wedding a level ahead. Wondering who we are talking about? Well, it is none other than the various types of auntyji’s who are an important part of every Indian wedding.
While you might have encountered a lot of them already in various wedding celebrations, we bring all of them at one place. So, let the fun begin.
Her only aim in life is to get people hooked up. She would either take a comfortable seat to stare at the entire gathering, or would roam around sniffing fresh and young, unmarried blood. And, her favourite dialogue for your parents is, “koi ladka dekhna shuru kiya?”
From your dress and jewellery to your heels and hairdo, she will scan you from head to toe. The reason why she does this best known to her only. But, she gets truly scary when she looks at you suspiciously and asks like an Income Tax office, “Ye solitaire hai kya? Kitne ka liya? Kahan se liya?”
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Here is another tough one to handle. Turn off all your senses for as long as she is around. Did you ask why? Well, simply because her son is the most eligible bachelor in this world, and is often graced with awards, perks and everything possible. And, her daughter is no less than a beauty queen having a deadly combination of good looks and sanskars. No matter how sick and tired you would be of her “mera beta ye, meri beti wo….”, all you can do in front of her is, smile and nod!
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From complaining about her knees and backache, to her hair fall and sensitive stomach (as she pops in another piece of paneer tikka), this troubled auntyji has a million reasons to complain about her health. And, the speech comes to an end with, “Itne saare doctron ko dikha liya. Sab tests, scans bhi karwa liye. Par kisi ko bhi samajh nahi aaya kya problem hai.”
Her sole purpose of coming to the wedding is actually showing off her expensive jewellery, saree, heels, and what not! And oh, did we forget to mention the Kaneda (Canada) ka tour that she just went for last month?
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She needs no genuine reason to hold a puja ki thali in her hands, or start giving you a lecture from any religious scripture. And, you never know! Unlike all other auntyjis with glamorous neckpieces, she might have a pendant with a God’s picture on it.
Still stuck in the 1960s or whatever era she spent her young days in, this nostalgic aunty will tell you how her time was so awesome compared to this so-called modern world. You can expect her to narrate some mischievous tales about how she sneakily wore slacks and roamed around without a debate. Her movie trips, climbing the trees and many other things like these, are way more fun than present generation’s idea of chilling. And, you would often hear her saying, “Ab wo hamare zamaane jaisi baatein kahan reh gayi hain.”
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She is one aunty in the wedding you will see all young people running away from. Wondering why? Well, just go close to her and you would know when she will give you an unending job of changing her new smartphone’s settings. It will get even worse after you fix her phone as she would ask you, “Beta tum Whatsapp pe ho? Mujhe apna numberdo, main tumhe ek joke send karti hu?”
No matter whether you have ever seen her before or not, she will give you the tightest hug that can even make your mother jealous. She will pamper you, praise you, keep holding your arm or hand, tell you there are some nice kebabs out there, and will even drag you to the dance floor. And, if you would show slightest of resistance, her reaction would be, “Itna sharma kyu rahe ho beta, sab apne hi hain yaha.”
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She bluntly refuses to realise her actual age. With dyed hair and high heels, she wants to rock the dance floor with her hip-shaking moves. She just knows how to chill out in a wedding. You can even expect her to hoot and whistle between the dance moves.
She will tap your head a couple of times till she ensures your pretty hairdo is all gone. And, that is not all! She will even pull your cheeks to show her love to you, without caring about how much it hurts. Yeah we know that is really irritating!
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And, you thought you could escape this one? Not really! An Indian wedding is never complete without at least a couple of critic auntyjis who have done doctorate in nit-picking. Be it the wedding arrangements, Mrs Sharma’s blouse, or anything else, she can criticise anything and everything under the sun. And, do you know who their favourite topic of discussion is? Well, whoever is missing!
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No matter how much you would want to avoid these auntyjis, but an Indian wedding is never complete without the special masala that they add to the event. So, spend time around and enjoy the company of these lovely ladies!