Communication is critical for any relationship and your disappointment in your partner is understood when he hesitates to share his inner thoughts. You sure have an ear for your partner’s thoughts but making him speak his heart, especially if he is shy or introvert, will require you to put in extra efforts. Remember, lack of emotional communication is sure relationship killer.
Your disappointments at first are understood, but keep at it and let him find an earnest listener in you. Believe us, towards the end of the conversation you will know that it was worth it all.
So, take a look at some of the ways that can help your man to open up to you.
Lend an Ear and Speak Less
Most men think more than they talk, yet as his partner you should make an extra effort to give the voices in his head a nudge. Once he is ready for a conversation and channels those voices into organised thoughts, you must listen to him sincerely and validate them if required. Unless he feels heard he won’t make an attempt to even start a conversation the next time. Make it a point that you do not criticise at any critical juncture of the conversation.
Don’t Judge Him
The fear of being judged lurks in every mind and while he is telling you his tale you better not judge him. He wants to be heard and will let go of pounding hesitation the moment he realizes that you won’t judge him. If he feels you’re judgmental he won’t open up. Allow him to vent and wait for the right moment to interrupt while he is talking, because this may lead to an argument. There is no need to correct the flaw (if you see one!) in his thinking and absolutely forget manipulating his intentions. Let him be!
Do not Advice or React but Discuss and Respond
If he is vouching on your opinion, try keeping a therapist’s approach. Instead of constantly poking him with the wrongs he is committing, put open-ended questions before him, so that he can place things in perspective and know the difference. This will motivate him to give sincere answers to the ferry loaded with questions in his mind. Eventually, you will have to give him enough space so that he resolves the tornado of noises in his mind.
Appreciate Him
Appreciating him for opening up before you and sharing his innermost thoughts will act as a positive reinforcement. If you acknowledge him genuinely he won’t think twice before talking to you. Guys are not all that complicated as we make it appear to be. And, the key is to let him define his space.
Soon enough, you’ll find that your man has taken down the emotional guard and initiates conversations with you. This is a sure shot sign that he counts on you and has confidence in the fact that he can be the ‘real’ him in front of you.
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