We are sure all you to-be-married couples, will be busy with your wedding preparations, making list of things to arrange for, going on shopping sprees, and deciding on honeymoon destinations. Surely, all those dreams of your future life with your beloved, would be making your heart race with excitement.
But, in the midst of all this wedding mayhem, you might overlook one of the most important things- your relationship. Marriages are made in heaven, but it is not necessary that they will be perfect? So, before you take the plunge, there are a few things that you must discuss with your partner to make it a smooth ride, right from the beginning. We bring you here certain things that you must discuss to ensure a stronger marriage.
How you manage finances is the most important thing, especially for the two people who enter into a lifetime commitment. Differences in money management between spouses, often lead to friction.
For instance, if one of you likes to splurge while the other one wants to save for a rainy day, this can be a problem later on. Discuss about an approximate monthly budget, your expenses, and whether you will prefer having joint account or maintain your separate accounts. As marriage counsellor Dr. Paul Sago, marriage counsellor practicing in Southen California, says, "It is always better to have everything joint or ‘ours’ in a marriage, rather than being selfish and thinking about one’s own self."
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Another pre-wedding topic about which couples should clear matters, is the way to deal with in-laws. This is especially true if the in-laws might be too interfering at times. Since it is the woman who moves to a new house, it is important for the wife-to-be, to know whether your partner is ready to bear the responsibility of his future family on his own, without depending on his parents. Also, talk about your preference about staying in a joint family or going for a nuclear set up, after marriage.
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Children are truly gifts of God, but that does not mean everyone would wish to have children immediately after marriage. Therefore, broaching the topic with your partner is important, so that you know when he or she wants to have kids. You can talk about how many kids you both plan to have and when? After having such a discussion, you both will be free of all tensions of starting a family which, arise after marriage due to family pressure.
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Sex forms an integral and beautiful part of a married life, and talking about it will help you understand what your partner expects from you. Discussing about what exactly sexual intimacy means to your would-be spouse is very important so that you know what will make your him or her really happy. Also, it is important to talk about what forms of contraceptives you both would be comfortable with. Ironing out these issues, beforehand, will be beneficial for your relationship in the long run.
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With both the partners working nowadays, the woman alone cannot take the responsibility of running the household. Men too are willing to pitch in with the household chores, since they know that their wife has also come back from a long day at work. Talk about how you would want to share all the responsibilities. It also makes sense, to talk about hiring a domestic help or working out your office timings to coordiante with the help, so that the house work doesn’t suffer. Discuss all the issues that you think could cause tension later on, between the two of you.
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Even if you think you will have a perfect marriage, there will be times when you will bicker due to lack of communication. Marriage is the union of two souls, so make it last a lifetime. Have these conversations with your would-be before you take the big plunge, and you will be stepping into a very harmonious relationship.