There is nothing more wonderful than being able to spend the rest of your life with the person who you find special. That said, marriage is no longer the sole aim and purpose in a girl’s life. Gone are the days when a girl got married at 18 or 20 years of age and moulded herself according to her husband’s way of life.
Of late, things like a higher education, a stable career, financial independence, a healthy social life, etc., are also on the list of priorities for a woman. Although this change has made women more independent and stronger emotionally, it is still not a change that is readily accepted in a traditional household, especially if the match has been arranged by families. We give you some inevitable problems that a new bride can face today.
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No matter how modern a family is, they always expect their daughter-in-law to show some expertise in the kitchen. Until a few years back, mothers nagged their daughters and spent time with them to teach them cooking and other household chores. But with girls getting busier in their academic and professional lives, there is hardly any time left to work on their cooking skills. It can be a problem for some families if their daughter-in-law is unable to cook. Lack of culinary skills is one of the biggest challenges that a woman can face. It is true that many households hire help in the kitchen, but they still hold high expectations from the new bride. But not just in joint families, even in nuclear families, the husband can expect his wife to cook at least some times, if not every single day.
If you do get married into a conventional family, the independent, headstrong woman in you might find it very difficult to compromise on your lifestyle. Especially things like the kind of clothes you like to wear, the social gatherings you like to attend, your work timings, your food habits, and other such things can be difficult to change to match your in-laws’ choices and tastes. No matter how understanding the in-laws are, there can still be a couple of things in your lifestyle that they can object to or expect to be changed.
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These days, most women get married in their late 20s or early 30s. By this time, your career goals, office routine, work pattern, etc. are already set. The new family can expect the you to adjust your routine according to theirs. If not that, your own schedule might feel disrupted due to the several changes taking place in the new life.
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Once you get married, you have the responsibility of every family member as well as your husband. Even though this is more applicable in a joint family scenario, even in case of a nuclear family, you might have to visit your in-laws often, or they might visit you. The sudden realisation of responsibilities and expectations after spending years with your parents, can be a little scary. It can even feel like the invasion of your personal space. Spending quality time with the in-laws, looking after their needs, and juggling this with professional commitments, can leave you with little or no time with yourself.
The expectations your better half and your in-laws might have from you can be overwhelming immediately after getting married. If you panic or are stressed, it can even create havoc in your married life. Apart from the routine and common expectations, there can be some that can be very specific to every house. For example, waking up early to perform some puja, traditional fasts, etc. These sound very routine, but might come across to some women as quite unexpected.
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In case you face any of the problems we listed, we suggest staying calm and opening up all communication channels with your in-laws. There is nothing that a good discussion and a loving attitude cannot resolve.