All of us hope and wish for a “happily-ever-after” ending to our wedding tales. But not everyone gets the life like a bed of roses. Troubles in paradise come to the lives of many, in the most unexpected ways. The recent case of national shooter Tara Shahdeo, is the latest example in this context.
But when troubles are dire enough to convert that paradise into hell, what is the right solution? Is it worth staying together for reasons like financial security, social embarrassment, kids, etc., or walking out is the only solution? We spoke to some women (names have been changed) who opted for the latter, and showed the courage to walk out of their troubled marriages:
Physical abuse is a reality in not just villages and uneducated households, but it exists in the urban regions too. Sanya, would have never thought that her marriage would take such a drastic turn. Being friends for a year, she easily agreed to Arun’s proposal for marriage.
“Everything was good until few months when my paradise started falling apart. I discovered the whole new side of Arun. I knew he was short tempered, but did not know he was so mercurial,” she says. Arun used to get angry over every little thing. It all started with emotional abuse first, which soon turned physical. She confesses, “Forgiving him the first time when he hit me was my biggest mistake. I believed he was genuinely sorry but he wasn’t.
Also Read: Bollywood Celebs who were Physically Abused by their Partners
My life turned into hell over next 10 months. My next mistake was not discussing this with anyone. He pretended well to be an ideal son-in-law in front of my parents. I thought they would not believe me.” She broke down, one day, in front of her friend, who insisted Sanya to tell her parents about the whole situation. She told everything to her parents and they took her home immediately. She now feels free and the case is in court now.
Recommended Read: Signs that He is NOT the Right One
Rachna Gupta got married to Kapil Dawar on 22nd Jan 2011, shares her experience: “As soon as I got a job, I wanted to get married and settle down. I had always dreamt of the big day in my life and was eager to find the perfect boy. As luck would have it, I met Kapil, who was everything I had dreamt of. Being work colleagues, we spent a lot of time together and I soon started falling for him. Within two months, he proposed me and we got married in a quiet ceremony.
Know everything about your partner-to-be, if you are going for an arranged marriage. Read to know how: How to Run a Background Check before Getting Married
What happened next was beyond anyone’s belief. A month later, I got to know that he is already married. His wife was living in a small town and was clueless about his second marriage.” It came as a bolt from the blue to Rachna and her family. She went into depression for a long time, and had to take professional help to come out of it. “I was completely shattered. It was only because of my parents’ support that I was able to reinvent myself. I am now living independently.”
Infidelity is more common than you think. Jasmine Arora, working in IT field, married for 4 years, got shocked when she came to know that her husband is having an affair. “I could not believe at first as he is the most loving and caring husband. It took me 3 months to believe this. When I asked him he confessed it was true but gave me some justifications and expected me to forget and forgive.” With a heavy heart and tears in her eyes, she left him. He wants her back, but Jasmine is not ready to forgive him.
Find out what to do if your husband cheats on you. Read more: 5 Things to Do if your Husband Cheats on You
Dowry deaths continue to make headlines in our society even as we call ourselves liberal and educated. Neha Dalal married to Ankit Verma, faced the harassment by her in-laws for dowry. “Just the day after we came back from our honeymoon, my husband, and my in-laws started demanding money and lot many household items in addition to what my parents had already given. My parents could not afford all these and I anyway did not want to bother them since they already had spent so much. When I refused, they called me names and got violent. I couldn’t take it and immediately told my parents to get me out of the mess. The case is now in the court.”
Know more about the harsh truth of dowry system in Indian marriages. Read more at: Exposing the Ugly Face of Dowry Behind Indian Weddings
There is no denying that women are increasingly getting ambitious and career-oriented. But do they get the support that they need, especially from their husbands and in-laws? Shikha Chawla didn’t. Working in research in medicines and scientific experiments, she spends a lot of time in the research lab.
She says, “I recently completed my Phd. and love my job. But my husband holds traditional values, and wanted me to dress like all traditional Indian women and do the entire household work. To some extent, I did whatever was possible for me, but he expected more. And I never found him happy in my achievements. We recently mutually decided to part ways. We meet once in a while but are not married emotionally, even though not officially separated right now.”
Recommended Read: Real Women Reveal How Career takes a Back Seat Post-Marriage
We might claim to have come a long way in terms of women liberalization, but the question that whether we really have learnt to respect them, still remains. Even though the women today are being empowered with education, these incidents show that there are still miles to go in order to be released from our patriarch society.