Establishing a genuine bond with the in-laws is almost like a prerequisite for a stress-free and happy married life. Sometimes it happens without an effort, but sometimes you have to put in some effort to make the relationship work. You married their child, and no matter how hard it is to form the bond, you just have to.
But, let us face the fact that bonding with your father-in-law can be tad difficult. One wrong word or act, and you are in troubled waters; after which, no matter how hard you try to mend the situation, it can take ages to get rid of the awkwardness. There is no escape then. But you can avoid being in an awkward position and can share an amicable relationship with your father-in-law easily, with these helpful tips. Scroll down to know what they are.
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Always make sure that you talk openly with him. If you differ with his views on politics, religion or some recent news, better stay away from such topics while chatting with him. Otherwise things might just heat up a little. Instead, find some common topics, such as family, his first job, your work, or any other such topic. The more common topics you have, the easier it will be to have a light and healthy conversation with him.
You are often told to keep your mother-in-law involved and ask for her advice. But this is what you must be doing with your father-in-law as well. Whenever you need an opinion, ask your father-in-law. This will make him feel important, and an opinion from an experienced person will definitely help you too. And, if at all, you don’t agree with him, don’t shove him off; just explain the reason for your different point-of-view.
Be it something like, what colour should you get your house painted in, or an opinion on a financial matter, do consult him at least once. All these things will show him that you look up to him and respect him just as your own father.
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Well, this might not be an easy task, especially if your work schedule keeps you very busy. But, if it helps you in forming a good bond, then there is no harm in giving it a try. Ask your spouse about your father-in-law’s likes and dislikes, try to find out about his hobbies, and then involve yourself in what he likes to do, be it playing some sport, meditating, going to the park, gardening, or any other thing. Also, ask him to teach you a thing or two about the activity you both are doing together. Your curiosity will flatter him, and you might become a pro at something with his help. It is a win-win situation!
You celebrate your dad’s birthday with all the excitement, you wish your father on every father’s day, and you have photographs with your father hanging around in your room, don't you? Why don’t you do the same for your father-in-law as well? Pick a picture from your wedding album, where you are with your in-laws, and frame that as a gift for him. Or, plan and celebrate his birthday with the same excitement, or just plan some outings keeping his likes and dislikes in mind, be it watching a film that he likes or eating at his favourite restaurant.
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One thing which he definitely doesn’t want to hear from you is how annoying or irritating his child is. Never discuss the negative traits of his son or daughter with him. He is a father of your better half, and no good can come from complaining about it. So, think twice before you say anything about your spouse. Also, while talking with him, keep the things related your marriage out of the discussion.
Always remember that he is like a father figure to you and secondly, he is your spouse’s father. Therefore, treat him with respect, just the way you would treat your own father. He will not fail to notice this, and will look at you as his own daughter. This will go a long way in making your bond strong.
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Bonding with father-in-law will not happen overnight. But with time, patience and will, things will definitely work out and you will share a great rapport with him that will last for life.