You get to choose your friends, and even your life partner. But, how you wish you had a chance to choose your relatives, especially the much dreaded in-laws! Yes, getting along with your spouse’s parents or relatives is a very daunting task, and should always be handled with tact. Until and unless you are already fond of them, the whole thought of staying with them and following their customs and traditions can surely give you sleepless nights. Achieving your dreams of wedded bliss with this particular mindset is surely not going to help.
So, here are a few tips that will help you adjust to the new customs and traditions of your in-laws’.
Do not go into the marriage with the mindset that your in-laws’ are just your extended family. After all, they will be the ones closest to you in times of problems and turmoil. You have come to stay with them for the rest of your life (unless you are staying with your spouse in a new house). So, it will help you a lot if you try to understand them and seek their love and respect.
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Be eager to learn, understand and adjust. Wouldn’t you do that for a new job that is promising for your career? Then why should you not adapt to the traditions and customs at your spouse’s place, especially when it is a matter of your happiness and peace of mind? Respect them just like you would your own family and try to dilute any nok-jhok with a smile.
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Show concern for other’s feelings and try to put yourself in their shoes, and think how you would have reacted in similar situations whenever there is some discord. Think of the expectations you would have had and the changes you would have been ready to make. Then, you will be able to see your in-laws’ in a better light, and be easily able to accept their customs and traditions.
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Initially, your spouse is the link between you and your in-laws. He knows them the best and he is the one who cares for you the most. Talk to him about a few issues you may have. Do not criticise his family’s way of life or way of doing things. Explain your point of view and dilemma. The key is to find a middle path where you are at peace in your world, along with your spouse and in-laws.
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You will need to have patience to adjust with your in-laws’ customs and traditions. It is not something you can do overnight. After all, you spent years growing up in a completely different kind of household. You will need to take your time, make an effort and communicate. You do not necessarily need to compromise all the time. It is all about mutual understanding, adjustment and respect.