Being in a relationship, and making it work, is no mean feat. Marriage is tougher than most relationships, because it is not just about two people. It is about the entire family. Making compromises and adjustments is hard enough when you are doing it for just one person – imagine changing yourself to suit all the members of your new family!
Any new relationship has its share of speed bumps, especially in the beginning. Most couples think that fighting is a bad thing, but that is not always true. What matters is the way you fight. Every couple will face conflicts over the course of a lifetime spent together – the most important thing is the way you handle them. Just because you two are fighting does not mean that you are going to get divorced! Instead of thinking about it as a fight, consider it to be an open, unfettered exchange of your thoughts and views.
Sometimes, people can lose their temper and say things in the heat of the moment that they later regret. These little things can fester and cause a rift between couples. When fighting with your partner, make sure you don’t say these things.
You are just like your mom/ dad!
Complaining about your new in laws is probably not the best way to get into the good graces of your partner. Once you have said it, there is no going back. Being diplomatic and open minded about the people that your spouse cares should be avoided. Besides, you are in for a whole world of trouble if your in laws find out that you have been dissing them behind their back!
My mom’s/ dad’s ___________ are much better than yours!
Variations on this theme include “My mom’s chappati/ bhaji/ pakodas are much better than yours” and “My dad’s car/ salary/ house is much nicer than yours”. You would never dream of comparing your spouse to your ex, right? (If you think you can do so and still survive, you are in for a wake up call!)This falls in the same category. In fact, think of this rule as a corollary or an extension of the earlier one.
Bringing up things that you have fought over in the past
Ok, I know that technically, this is not a phrase. But it is still an iron clad rule that all newly wed couples ought to follow religiously. Do you like it if someone keeps bringing up mistakes that you have made in the past and rubbing them in your face? Of course not! Why do you think your spouse is any different? Once something is over, it should be finished. if you have any unresolved issues that you think need to be discussed, then bring them up at a later time, in a calm and forthright manner. Besides, if you keep fighting over the same ghisi piti things, then life becomes really dull.
Do you think there are any tips that I left out?