They say when you marry a guy, you just don’t marry him but his entire family too, especially his mother! A son is the closest to his mother his entire life until the day he gets married and then, he has two women in his life, his mother and his wife, whom he loves and cares for equally. And because his attention will now be divided, a mother feels like she is losing her son to someone else. This is also one of the reasons why a ‘’saas bahu’’ relationship is a very delicate and complex one, especially in our country.
So, if you too are about to get married soon and want his mother to love you as much as he does, here are a few things you must do to make her believe that you are not taking her son away, but making her your mom too!
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Make sure you ask your fiance beforehand about her likes, dislikes and what kind of things, places, cuisines etc. she likes before you meet her. You will then know what topics to talk about and what to skip.
Women of all ages have one thing in common- they love to shop. So, to get familiar and friendly with her after only one meeting, plan a shopping trip with her! We know you love your bestie’s company for shopping, but you might be pleasantly surprised with the new shopping partner you find in your future mom-in-law!
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When you are in doubt about something or need serious guidance, turn to her for some help. Not only will she appreciate your this move, but you might get some valuable advice too! Be there for her and she will always be there for you.
Both of you must have a lot of funny incidenents about your common link- your fiance and her son, which you can discuss with each other and have a good laugh over it. And, isn’t laughing the best medicine and way to bring people closer?
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Do not try to like everything about her and compliment her unnecessarily. She will obviously come to know that you are being fake if you over do it. So just be yourself without any pretends.
Do not talk on topics that might make the both of you uncomfortable, for example, topics related to your physical life with your guy or your future-in-laws personal relations, family matters, etc. Keep the conversations simple and fun!
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Do not cut her conversations mid-way. Even if you get bored in between, do not let that come on your face. Instead, try to be more involved, try to find your interest in what she is saying and just try to be more involved with her and her life.
There is something about knowing how to cook that is a very attractive quality in a bride for any Indian sasumaa. Be rest assured that she will not tell you to do anything post your marriage, let alone cooking for all, but just the fact that her daughter-in-law is a great cook will give her a very ‘’I am a proud saas’’ moment!
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Compliment her boy. Tell her what a gentleman he is, how he is so polite and caring, how he always talks of his mother, how he respects all women and that is all because of her upbringing. She will feel so proud and develop a liking towards you instantly.
The only reason her son is with you is because he loves you and he must have told her all about you already. So without bragging much about yourself, be chilled out about your achievements!
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Send her some nice forwarded messages, drop in a ‘’Hi’’ or ‘’what you doing’’ message when you are free. It makes all the difference!
For example, where you want to have the wedding, the colour theme, the clothes you want to wear, etc. Take her advice, keep her involved in the planning as she too is an important part of your future husband’s life.
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Like using different applications on the phone, putting on makeup or using the complex computer applications. Parents love it when children help them out with this stuff.
A mother gives up a lot to bring up her child. It is something you will understand only when you become one yourself. So never try to compete with her position in his life. What she has done for him, probably you also can never match up to, so just concentrate on what you can do without comparing or competing.
He loves you because of what you are; let his mother also fall in love with the same girl! If you try to be someone else, you will have to pretend to be so all your life. Do you really want that? We guess not!
Now that both of you have met once and had a surprisingly good time, initiate to make the next plan. Ask her out to your shopping plan, a coffee date or a combined spa appointment. Make time for each other without your fiance having to make plans for the two of you.
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Always remember, the first impression is the last impression! So without trying ‘too hard to impress’ and being too pushy, just be yourself and make a genuine effort to come in her good books. The rest is up to her to make her decision whether to like you or not, you just have to do your best!