In a recent interview, Shabana Azmi got candid about her personal life and revealed how she and Javed Akhtar make their marriage work. She also talked about being unable to bear kids.
Shabana Azmi is the proud daughter of her artist-parents, Shaukat and Kaifi Azmi. The veteran actress became a part of parallel cinema in the ’70s. In her personal life, she broke societal stereotypes when she married acclaimed poet/writer, Javed Akhtar, in 1984. For the unversed, Javed was earlier married to Honey Irani, and the duo has two kids together, Farhan Akhtar and Zoya Akhtar.
In an interview with The Indian Express, Shabana Azmi opened up about her goals in life and revealed that she never wanted to become a doctor or an engineer. She added that she used to act on stage all through school. When she got admitted to St Xavier’s College, she, along with her senior, the late Farooq Shaikh, founded the Hindi Natya Manch to pursue her love for acting. Shabana added:
"My best friend Parna’s house was close to Tejpal Auditorium where most of the inter-collegiate drama competitions were held. We would empty her flat of the furniture to fill up our sets. Inevitably, we’d win the Best Actor/Best Actress awards. But it was not until I started shooting for Shyam Benegal’s Ankur (1974) that I realized acting was what I enjoyed the most."
Shabana Azmi was also asked about her marriage to Javed Akhtar, which is all about togetherness and space. Talking about the one thing that is non-negotiable for her in a relationship, the veteran actress said that one can’t demand respect, as they have to earn it. She also mentioned that marriage is a process of constant adjustment, and one has to keep working on it. In her words:
"Respect! Though you can’t demand respect, you have to earn it. Love keeps changing. Romance is the first thing that disappears with marriage. But you have to keep working at it – it’s a process of constant adjustment. Togetherness, friendship, interest in each other, and giving space to your partner is paramount. That can only stem from respect."
Shabana once made a candid confession about being unable to have children, which uplifted many women. In the same interview, the veteran actress mentioned that society makes a woman feel incomplete if she can’t bear children. However, she stated that women should get the greatest satisfaction from their work and added:
"It’s tough coming to terms with the fact that you can’t bear children. Society makes you feel incomplete. You have to work hard to pull yourself out of that. But your ultimate sense of self must come from your work. Women often measure self-worth from their relationships – how they hold up as a wife, mother daughter… For a man that’s not the criterion of success – rather it’s his career, his work that gives him the greatest satisfaction. I believe that should apply to all genders."
Speaking along the same lines, Shabana Azmi revealed her mother's wise words when the former asked her about the most fulfilling role of her life. Late Shaukat Azmi told her daughter that her work and appreciation for it gave her primary satisfaction and that women have to overcome patriarchal expectations. In Shabana's words:
"When I asked my mother (late actor Shaukat Azmi), who was an excellent housekeeper, wife… what was the most fulfilling of all her roles, her answer left me surprised. She said her work and appreciation for it gave her primary satisfaction. Women have to overcome patriarchal expectations. It doesn’t mean turning up your nose to duty but making it more inclusive so that your partner also respects it."
What are your views on Shabana Azmi's revelations?
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