A saas-bahu relationship is the one that has, since time immemorial, been a muse for comedians, authors, and scriptwriters of soppy television serials and movies. And, that is not just in the Indian context. Saas-bahu drama is everywhere! Remember, Jennifer Lopez almost calling off her wedding because of her fiancé’s mother in the movie, Monster-in-law?
But, is a typical saas always a ‘monster-in-law’? And, is today’s saas-bahu relationship truly that melodramatic? Well, we believe there definitely is a wind of change modifying the dynamics. A modern-day daughter-in-law is opinionated and independent, and the mother-in-law is no longer a version of Lalita Pawar! So, for all the daughters-in-law, let us take a look at what is important for having a not-so-melodramatic saas-bahu relationship.
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Most of the clashes will be solved if your mother-in-law accepts you just the way you are and vice versa. Your mother-in-law should accept the fact that her daughter-in-law will not make her redundant for the other family members. You should also accept the fact that your mother-in-law has followed her own set of rules over the years, so she expects you to follow the same. Most of the fights will not occur if both of you accept each other just the way the two of you are.
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Your mother-in-law will always be one of the most important person in your spouse’s life. So, you need to make sure that the conflicts are not arising just because of your own assumptions. The daughter-in-law needs to understand that if she keeps peace with her mother-in-law, then a lot can be achieved. An elder’s support is always needed in a new household and who better than your mother-in-law to provide it? Try and convert the situation into a blessing.
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When your mother-in-law starts complaining about all the things you do or you don’t, try to take it in good humour. This will only bring peace at home. Sometimes, it is good to just let it go without any fights and communication. Ruchi Sharma, working with an MNC, married for two years, says, “I behave with my mother-in-law the way I behave with my mother. We have fights; I even sometimes shout at her, but next day we both are normal and back to routine. My mother also scolds me for a number of things, but if I don’t get hurt with my mother, then why should I with my mother-in-law.” Ruchi has a beautiful approach to cement the quarrels and have a long-lasting relationship, and all daughters-in-law can learn from this.
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Healthy boundaries are one of the best practices to keep things well-balanced. As the saying goes, there is a limit to everything . Your mother-in-law should guide you about the rules of her house, but should not control or expect that you should do everything as she does. She should not be too fussy about the household work; she should understand that you will complete the work in your way. And, it is your responsibility to let her know this politely. Everyone has their own way of doing things and we all should respect that.
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A balanced approach in a relationship is a very important factor for harmony. Ankita Dhiman, married for three years, says, “What goes around comes around. My mother-in-law has given me total freedom, love and care. So, I do respect her as I do to my mother. I don’t feel any difference between my mom and my mother-in-law. Maybe it is because I try my level best to be up to her expectations, so she takes care of my desires.”
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After reading this, if you think your mother-in-law is also more of an angel than a monster, then let us know in the comments section below.