Insecurity does well to no one! It makes you look demanding and clingy. Being unsure about some things is natural up to a point, but beyond that, it becomes unbearable. Past relationships that did not work out, lost love or low confidence levels among many other things make a person insecure. Here are some points that might help you in finding out whether your partner is an insecure person or not.
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The first sign of an insecure person is that they constantly worry about frivolous things. They want each and everything in perfect order. If your partner's things are not in their usual place or you've been neglecting the little details, then, they act all weird. It is simply because they feel that they are not important anymore.
Whether it is a dress or their makeup, business decisions or an investment scheme, even if it is only about buying a toothbrush, they need your approval. Since they fear rejection, they prefer to take your opinion to make sure that you are in agreement with their decision. Validation is imperative for them.
These people are self-critical. Even the slightest sign of discontent from their partner can push them into a void. They start blaming themselves for things that are not even there. Hence, you have to become their emotional support as it is the only way to pull them out of the box.
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If ‘have I done something wrong?’ the most recurrent question of your partner, then yes, they are insecure. This is an appendage of their anxious nature. They will always make sure that no action of theirs will provoke you to leave.
Because they have been through a plethora of troubles already, their mind and heart cannot digest the fact that things can actually work well in their favour. ‘This is too good to be true!' becomes their mantra.
Even if they somehow assure themselves that you love them, there will always remain a doubt in their mind if this love is enough to keep you with them. That doubt about your ex just cannot leave them alone. Whenever you have a good time with someone or even look at someone else, they become jealous and possessive.
An insecure person will want to know everything about their partner; their exact location, their work schedule, their eating and sleeping schedule, everything. They just simply need to know that.
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When they see you laugh uncontrollably in the company of your friends, especially of the opposite sex, they fear that you are happier with them. Again, the question of being good enough is at stake!
Since they are already self-critical, a little complaint of yours just pushes them further towards their breaking point. Criticism is not their cup of coffee. In their own little world, they have done everything perfectly.
Your tweets, Facebook updates, Instagram pictures; everything is under their keen observation. An insecure partner is usually insecure to such a level that they try to find unnecessary hidden meanings in your social activities. They go through your search history at least twice a day.
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That fear of rejection does not apply in relation to just you, it applies to everyone important to you as well. An insecure person would often behave oddly and exhibit different personalities while meeting different people to make sure that they like them.
A disturbed past produced this insecure person. As they are so afraid of losing you, they prefer to hide their feelings, whether it is a complaint, an idea, or merely a gesture that they have planned for so long.
Your hobby is their hobby, your likes and dislikes are their likes and dislikes, your favourites are their favourites and when you move, they move. They do what you do and like what you like. In simple terms, they become you.
They are always unsure about your feelings towards them. They are emotionally vulnerable to such an extent that they believe their relationship is destined to be doomed. In order to keep this thought at bay, they regularly question your feelings.
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Besides keeping a track of your messages and phone calls, they have a problem when you do not receive their calls or call back instantly. If you have missed their call, you have to call them back instantly, else they will freak out. Another complaint is that you do not call them often.
Whenever a fight crops up, they accuse you of not wanting to be together. They do not believe in solving any issue with maturity. Instead, they cook up many theories in their mind, one of the most common being that you did not want to be in a relationship in the first place and now want to opt out.
Giving space to them is something that scares them. You have to constantly keep in touch with them. Space means separation for them.
Just because they want you to accompany them in every gathering they attend, they expect the same from you. If you go out without them, then you are in a big trouble. They will make you feel guilty for having a good time without them.
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Suspicion is a synonym for insecurity. They are suspicious about anything and everything. If your partner acts like a spy all the time, then you have a clear sign that they are insecure.
The biggest fear in their life is to lose you. So, they apologise instantly. For them, to win an argument is not important. What matters to them is to be with you. For this, they bend even when they shouldn't!
The slightest argument can punch their heart and they break into tears. They cry very easily and secretly desire to be comforted by you.
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They have left little pieces of themselves in everything they once loved and now they feel empty. In order to impress everyone, they lose their true self. You have to be patient and understanding with this insecure person who, by the way, loves you deeply!