Sutapa Sikdar reveals how after living 35 years with Irrfan Khan, she is deriving strength to cope up with the pain of losing her most precious possession and how was he as a husband.
‘Til Death Do Us Part’ is a vow that every couple takes during the wedding. But when love is involved, even death can’t part the couple from each other as it ties them with an eternal bond. Losing someone to death is the toughest experience of life and when you’ve lived decades of your life with them, it’s like you lose a part of yourself with them. Preferring to stay away from the media glare despite the fame and stardom they’re blessed with, Irrfan Khan and Sutapa Sikdar had never let the love stay away from them and that’s what makes their relationship special. (Also Read: Irrfan Khan's Wife, Sutapa Sikdar Shares Throwback Pictures Of The Late Actor With An Emotional Note)
Though Irrfan Khan is no more with Sutapa Sikdar as he had left for the heavenly abode in April 29, 2020, the memories haven’t left her side and it was her husband’s strength and determination towards life that is her strength today to deal with his loss. In an interview with The Times Of India, Sutapa spoke about how after living 35 years with Irrfan, she is deriving strength to cope up with the pain of losing her most precious possession, how was Irrfan as a father, if she was convinced with his decision to resume work after his ailment was in control and how was the actor as a husband.
In the interview, when Sutapa Sikdar was asked what had made Irrfan Khan decide to resume work with Angrezi Medium, she revealed that since his ailment was completely under control and his scans were excellent, he wanted to earn money. Irrfan was a self-made man so he wanted to earn money and most importantly, he needed to believe in himself. Sutapa also revealed that she wasn’t sure of his decision and had wanted him to rest more to fully recover but she eventually gave in. Sutapa said that it was the first time when she had accompanied him for a shoot, not to the location but for the actual shoot and had behaved like his mother on the set.
When she was asked how Irrfan Khan was as a husband, Sutapa Sikdar revealed that he wasn't a husband material and reasoning the same, she was quoted as saying, “I can hear Irrfan laugh when I try to answer this with the laughing squint in his eyes trying to burst out. I can almost hear him say, 'yeh lo mauka mil gaya burai karne ka'. I will try to answer this but it’s a difficult question. Can feelings ever be expressed? Are claims to be ever believed? Irrfan was not husband material. Nah, he wasn’t (that’s a view from the definition we expect a husband to be- from the films, the novels and the merchandise companies.). I tried to sometimes make him ask for normal things- like celebrating birthdays. But it didn’t work (so red roses, dark chocolates, diamonds, Valentine's Day etc, was not discussed, leave aside being consideration). It was not that I was surprised every time because that’s the person I chose after many many years of courtship. The fact is that Irrfan didn’t even remember his own birthday, so how could I complain? But we planted trees together, went to jungles together and went to safaris. We drove in our first Maruti 800 to every corner of Maharashtra, especially in the rains and looking for a land near water. We were very alike in that sense. But how could I miss that he sang in Bengali because he knew I would love it without saying it? He would keep mogras on my study table as I wrote for a series tirelessly.” (Also Read: Irrfan Khan's Wife, Sutapa Sikdar Misses Her Late Husband After Seeing This Plant In Their Balcony)
Sutapa Sikdar revealed that Irrfan Khan cannot be defined as a husband or father or star as per social definitions because he would always surprise and surpass all definitions. Speaking of how he used to express his love, Sutapa said, “His sharing of wisdom, his films especially documentaries, his looking at stars through his telescope, his findings and his sharing of knowledge was his way to express love. He was a quiet man but he spoke tons and tons to me late at night. I am a day person, he was a night person. So I couldn’t stay awake every night. That’s what I crave the most now. Our endless talks at nights on philosophy, music, physics, poetry, you name it and we must have chatted about it.”
After living 35 years with Irrfan Khan, Sutapa Sikdar knows that the pain will always remain but she also believes that it is a proof that you were partners and not just someone married for the sake of it. Sutapa has said, “I get the strength from Irrfan himself, from the strength and determination that Irrfan showed towards life. A small town boy becoming an international actor by sheer grit and conviction. What bigger example than him? The pain will always remain, it will not go. It can't if you have lived 35 years of your life with a man like Irrfan. But pain is love, pain is not a crutch to live sadly with. Pain does not necessarily make you morose. Pain is the ability to see also the beauty of life. Pain is the proof that you were partners and you loved somebody and not got married for just the sake of it.” (Also Read: Irrfan Khan's Wife, Sutapa Sikdar Wishes She Could Visit This Place One Last Time With Her Husband)
Irrfan and Sutapa, in their own unconventional way, were, are and will always be an inspiration for everyone out there!