Whether you marry a person you have known for many years now or yours is an arranged marriage where the two of you have recently met, the first year of life after marriage is an entirely new and different chapter of your lives. You get to know so many new things about each other, each day is a new discovery and you learn to adapt to this new lifestyle. Also, the first few years act as a foundation to the coming years. If the foundation is laid strong, your marriage will never fall apart.
So to make the perfect foundation, here are tips you need to follow especially to make it through the first year smoothly.
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Be thankful each day. Appreciate all the good that your spouse does while ignoring the wrong ones. Be grateful for having such an understanding and loving life partner and never shy away from expressing your gratitude and love.
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Even if you might not like them much, they are the most important people in your spouse’s life. And you are not just married to your partner, but to their entire family as well. Imagine how you would feel if your spouse spoke ill of your parents? Treat them as your own. After all, they are your family now!
From the very beginning, know each other’s financial status and expectations. Plan your investments as a team, make separate accounts for your day-to-day expenses, your savings and other investments. Because money can cause rifts between the strongest of bonds, protect your relationship from its ill effects.
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Just because you are married, does not mean your life should get boring. Yes, you now spend most of your time together but still, you do not manage to spend a lot of quality time. Plan date nights, make on-the-spot movie plans, plan surprises out-of-the blue and not just on special occasions. Turn on the heat and always try to keep the spark alive by being fun and spontaneous!
Shout at each other if need be inside your room, but in front of the world, do not show your problems. You will eventually sort them out but people who notice some trouble will use it to their advantage and try to seep into those gaps of your relationship.
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Value each other’s presence in your life. Never talk your partner down in a crowd or embarrass them. Be on one side. Stand by each other and never listen to anything against your spouse from a third person, whoever it might be. If you do not respect your spouse, no one else will.
Have faith in your partner. Never doubt his/her intentions or spy. Never hide things from each other either. Do not check each other’s phones or keep them locked with secret codes. Be each other’s confidant and let there be nothing untold or hidden between the two of you. Lack of trust can cause unnecessary problems and misunderstandings between you.
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You are now a team. You need to start a new home, set it up, pay the bills and start a family. In short, you need to make your house a home! So why should one person take all the burden of the responsibilities. Sit together and work out a workable plan. Tell each other what responsibilities can each one of you take on comfortably and follow them without being reminded repeatedly!
If yours happens to be an interfaith marriage, never make fun of your partner’s faith or beliefs. Your customs might be entirely different, but that does not give you the right to make fun of or degrade someone else’s belief. Instead, enjoy double the customs, double the holidays, double the festivities and double the cuisines.
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Do not expect your partner to be a mind reader. Your spouse is as new to this institution of marriage as you are. Thus, to make it an easy journey for both, always tell each other what you are feeling. Communicate your thoughts and expectations. Be on the same page as the other and complicate things as less as possible!
No one will ask you to make adjustments at gunpoint. You should do it because you want to. You want to make a beautiful life with the love of your life for which a few compromises, changes and adjustments should not be an issue! Take one step at a time and change your lives for the better.
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Now you are not alone, your spouse is with you at every stage of life. So, start thinking in terms of two and not just you. If you are having your wife’s favourite burger on the way back home, then get one packed for her too! Don’t like brinjal? Well make the dish already because if not you, at least your husband loves it!
Alone time makes you want to be with your partner more. Not only do you get to unwind, catch your favourite movie with your friends, party, or just go to the spa without your partner, but the distance and time spent apart without any interruptions, disturbances or restrictions from your spouse makes you want to go back to them sooner!
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Making a relationship work or drown is in your hands. The habits you develop, the responsibilities you divide, the adjustments you make and the changes you make in yourself now will remain with you throughout your marriage. These are the things that will make your journey a pleasant one in the long run. No doubt there will be rough times ahead, but you will both learn to stand by each other and work out solutions as a team and sail through the difficulties with ease.