For some newly-married couples, handling money-related issues could be a big challenge. This is more applicable when both the partners are working and hadn’t set-up any kind of system to handle their expenditures or savings, post marriage. It might seem normal for couples to argue a bit about money but if this issue is not handled smartly, it can snowball into a major problem.
Get Started with Basics—Don’t Expect Magical Results
For starters, don’t try to induce extreme changes. It is possible that before marriage, your husband was a spendthrift and there was nobody to correct him. You cannot change him into a smart shopper overnight. This is a process and it will take time, so be patient.
Emergency Spending is Inevitable—Accept It, Mutually
Be prepared for emergencies, both financially and psychologically. Remember, that you need to save for the tough times. For instance, your husband might get laid-off and is forced to spend from your joint savings—this is when emergency funds come to the rescue. You need to understand that “emergency spending” is exactly what the term suggests, i.e. it is unexpected, challenging and can leave you frustrated. However, this is a part of life so don’t crib about any emergency spending done for him or his family. In return, he should be ready to share his savings with you during difficult times too.
Not-To-Do Things in Couple Finances
There is a major difference between planning and micromanaging. The latter refers to managing the smallest aspect of everything, delving deep into the details. Both you and he should try not to do this. This tends to erode the trust and induces a sense of guilt and anger. However, do keep each other informed about anything that has cost more than the usual. Don’t make unusually long-term financial commitment as it can make daily spending difficult. For instance, taking multiple loans together can ruin your index of happiness by not letting you shop for new seasonal clothes.
Decipher if it is an Ego Thing
Sometimes, arguments about money are reflective of a bigger problem For instance, he might object to you spending too much on cosmetics because he believes that you could engage the wrong kind of attention. Many husbands want their wives to look the best, only in their company. Such issues of emotional insecurity need to be identified and diffused.
Keep it Simple
Rather than downloading some confusing, money-managing application on your smartphone, keep things simple. This is best done by setting monthly or weekly limits to regular expenses. Some ground rules should be established. For instance, all bigger expenses should be shared between the two. Here, the payment should be made when a mutual decision is reached. There should be a limit as to how much each partner will let the credit card amount to build-p. In fact, some couples might like to use debit cards only.
Create a common ground with simple rules that are easy-to-understand and help to avoid confusion. For instance, big purchases in times of his or your job feeling insecure should be avoided by both. Phone bills are better paid individually by each partner as a handheld is regarded as a personal gadget. Fuel expenses on the car or bike could be his thing where every time you get the tank filled, he must pay you back.
Other Tips:
- All paid bills should be filed to ensure that both of you know about the expenditures.
- Set different benchmarks for savings, investments and spending. You cannot perform brilliantly in all three aspects simultaneously at all times—be a bit flexible.
- Set spending limit in certain segments. For instance, buying a phone shouldn’t cross the 20K mark for either of you.
- Investing together but saving individually is recommended. This induces a feeling of financial independence.
- When either of your falters, talk about it and set a plan in motion to make-up for amount that went overboard.
Have you created any special rules to ensure that you and your partner don’t have money-related arguments?