Have you always believed that boundaries are a strict no-no in relationships? Or that they are callous and unnecessary? Sorry, but you are wrong! Psychologists and psychiatrists across the globe have proved that healthy relationships need boundaries. Without them, there exists some ambiguous space in relationships,which raises a lot of questions and differences.
The most vital ingredients for happy and fulfilling relationships today are the well-marked and respected boundaries. The Internet-friendly and more educated couples today completely understand that they are two different souls. They are in love and wish to stay together till the time they do not completely interfere in each other's lives.
We tell you five crucial ways for maintaining healthy boundaries, which will take your relationship to a new high.
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First and foremost, you must acknowledge your own feelings. Be clear in your head: what is making you feel bad? Do the constant questions about your career make you uncomfortable? Are the reminders about missing the gym becoming a daily nightmare? Does someone peeping into your phone when you are not around make you feel itchy? At times, we get so enmeshed in our relationships that we often intentionally or uninentionally ignore things that just do not make us feel good about ourselves. This is an initial warning, stop right here. Be aware, have the self-knowledge as to what is for you and what is not, to avoid future arguments.
Once you know what you are feeling, it is mandatory to voice them. Communicate your boundaries- this is as important as knowing what is right for you and what is not. In relationships, we often tend to assume that our partners are more or less like us. If you like going on a night out with friends, it is not necessary that your partner would. If you change your relationship status on social media, does not mean your partner would do the same too. Do not assume, 'ask'. The reson why boundaries may not work out for you, are a result of miscommunication or no communication. Share or communicate your likes and dislikes, needs and desires, and avoid further hassles.
Ladies, this one is especially for you. And gentlemen, you can also learn a thing or two from here: 15 Impractical Things Women Should Stop Expecting From Long-Term Relationships
You have a group of friends and so does your partner. The 24x7, 365-days romance is seriously out of fashion and very draining. Have your own space and time, might it be with your favourite book or a bunch of friends, and give the same freedom to your partner. You may want to chat on the phone the whole night, but your partner might have an early start at work next day. Set simple boundaries and do not impose things on each other. Do not make it claustrophobic for your partner. If you are in a long-distance relationship, do not keep tabs on your partner’s social life.
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If you are not sure how your partner will react to the need of creating boundaries, try this- Yes, no, yes! Simply put, agree to whatever they want, but also do not compromise on your own needs. To make them understand your viewpoints slowly and steadily, insert your thinking in between theirs.
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Setting the boundaries definitely does not mean that you are being calculating or that you do not love your partner enough. Do not feel guilty, you need to first love yourself enough to maintain that relationship. Boundaries are just an important component of healthy relationships, though they are not the relationships in themselves.
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Creating healthy boundaries and respecting them comes with practice. Especially, if such things were never discussed among your family. With time, you and your partner will realise their worth and feel secure with each other. Keep making your partner feel special, hold their hand whenever you feel like, and just be in love forever!