One of the most popular Asian actors, Saeed Jaffrey, had a career of over six decades and more than 150 British, American, and Indian films to his credit. Apart from playing leading roles in British films and series, Saeed was one of the leading figures of Hindi cinema, too. With films like Shatranj Ke Khilari, Chashme Buddoor, Ram Teri Ganga Maili, and Henna, Saeed played many tremendous roles in his career.
Born into a Punjabi Muslim family in Malerkotla, Saeed Jaffrey was the first Asian to receive nominations for British and Canadian film awards. Since his father, Hamid Hussain Jaffrey, was a doctor in government service, Saeed Jaffrey moved to different places with him. Since childhood, Saeed has been interested in drama and movies.
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While Saeed was one of the prolific actors in Hindi cinema, his life was never a bed of roses. From his professional struggles to one of the most regretful decisions of his personal life, let us look at some unknown aspects of his life.
In 1951, Saeed Jaffrey travelled to New Delhi to try his luck as a cartoonist, writer, and broadcaster. He soon landed a job as an announcer at All India Radio. Since he could not afford a place to stay and had no relatives, Saeed spent his nights on the bench behind his office building. Later, he got a room to share.
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Soon, Saeed, along with his friends, set up a theatre group called Unity Theatre in Delhi. It was here that Saeed met Madur Bahadur, his first wife. She was the lead actress of his play The Eagle Has Two Heads, and the two subsequently shared the stage multiple times. Their shared interest in theatre brought them close.
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Saeed and Madhur (also known by the name Mehrunima) were head-over-heels in love with each other and dated for some years. When Saeed approached Madhur’s parents for her hand in marriage, they refused the idea as Saeed was not financially sound. In 1958, Madhur and Jaffrey got married in a civil ceremony. Soon they became parents to three daughters, Meera, Zia and Sakina and travelled to England and America along with their kids.
Saeed Jaffrey was just 19 when he married 17-year-old Madhur. Since childhood, Saeed has been fascinated by British culture and etiquette. Soon, he developed a taste for British mannerisms, while his wife, Madhur, was the complete opposite to him. Though she studied drama at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in the UK, she came from an old, affluent Hindu Kayastha family in old Delhi.
As time passed, Saeed started feeling a superiority complex, and he started drifting apart from Madhur. In Saeed’s diary, which was later made public, the actor gave an account of his divorce and wrote:
“As I grew up, I was very fascinated by the british culture in colonial India. I learnt to speak English fluently, wear suits with grace, and developed impeccable etiquettes. But Mehrunima grew up to be my complete opposite - homely, a typical housewife. All my advices and admonishments couldn't change her basic personality - an obedient wife, a doting mother and a good homemaker. But she was not what I wanted. More I tried to change her, more we drifted apart. Gradually she metamorphosed from a cheerful affectionate young girl into a quiet insecure woman.”
Saeed started developing feelings for his co-actress, Jennifer Soel, as she matched his idea of a perfect woman. In 1966, Saeed ended his marriage with Mehrunima and married Jennifer. After their divorce, he continued sending money to Mehrunima for the upbringing of their children, but there was no response from her side.
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Soon after marrying Jennifer, Saeed realised his new wife was not caring at all and was only concerned about her beauty and ambitions. There were times when he missed Mehrunima and her affection, but he never went back to find out about Mehrunima and his kids.
On the other hand, Mehrunima, apart from her inclination towards radio and drama, also had a thing for culinary. After her divorce, she sent her kids to India to her mother and focused on her career in culinary. Tables turned when Saeed saw an article on Madhur Jaffrey, an upcoming famous chef who launched a book of her own recipes. When he looked at the picture of the smart young lady, he was stunned to find out that it was none other than his Mehrunima, who changed her maiden name.
Madhur Jaffrey was married again and was leading a happy and content life. When Saeed went to meet Madhur, she refused to see him, but their kids wanted to talk to him for the one last time. Recalling what his children told him, Saeed penned:
“To this date, I cannot forget what my children told me. They told me that their new father knows the meaning of true love. He Broke Da Cage of Negativity. He accepted Mehrunima as she was and never tried to change her into what he himself was, because he loves her more than he loves himself. He let her evolve at her own pace and never tried to force his wishes on her. He accepted and enjoyed her person as it was. And she has bloomed into a confident loving affectionate self reliant lady today under her second husband's selfless love and acceptance.”
Saeed Jaffrey was a brilliant actor but not a brilliant husband. The stage didn’t teach him anything, but his personal life did. The greatest lesson in Saeed’s life was, ‘You don't change people you love; you love them as they are.’
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